Day 16.

Day 16.

Okay, firstly, I would like to say that I was first going to delete this image, but then I realised that it actually said an awful lot!

Secondly, this is an old image, hence why it is ripped and everything.

Anyway, the fact that this is my mum and dad in their prime age and when they was married says a lot to me. If you didn't know, yet, it's Fathers Day. I would just like to quickly say "Happy Fathers Day to all those dads who did their jobs and was always there for the kids! Those who wasn't there- Fuck you!". Yeah, now that I've got that out, let's get on with the post! 

But, as a child, my father was never there. It wasn't because he was at work or anything; he just kept leaving. My mum only took him back because she felt bad for me, you know, a child growing up with out a father. By the way, I will probably get a lot more personal as it is Fathers Day. Yeah, but I thought that the blocked face was a really good way to interpret this; he is a face that I am slowly forgetting. I mean, the other day, I got really upset when I realised that I didn't know how tall I'd be against him. It's Fathers Day, too, so it's a pretty depressing day for me. I mean, I don't usually act so upset about it, but my mum is trying to get me to get my step dad fathers day presents and I just cannot do it. I mean, last year, I almost started crying in the middle of Celebrations. I just cannot do it. I cannot just call another person "dad" after wishing my real one would stay with me. I mean, I don't remember any of my memories of him living with us; he left when I was only 6. So, I am constantly trying to remember the little thing, but I cannot do it! I mean, my mum always says "You know, it was no better with your dad, here. In fact, it was worse." I don't care! I never got to remember it, so I am constantly trying to dream it. I only have my imagination of what it could be like. So, I am obviously going to imagine this daddy-like image that every family adores! So, every Fathers Day, I put on the same face for my mother. I act like I don't care. But, I really do care, you know? 

I told you that it would get personal.

 

No more water, no more pain. No more drowning, no more rain.

Anyway, I hope Day 17 will be a little bit jollier.

Love,

Cerys x